We have been through too much to end up apart now. And yet I never believed for a minute we wouldn't work it out. We just survived another 18-month separation after intense life circumstances drove us apart once again. We joked that we didn't know what to call it: "Pre-marital? Post-marital?" But it worked, and we remarried 11 months later. We got back in touch with each other, and after much hesitation we agreed to try again and went to counseling. Oddly enough, both of our marriages ended 2 years later within days of each other. The love of my life was taken, so I settled for second best. It took me several years to start dating again, but I ended up meeting and eventually marrying a nice man. ( These 6 milestones will make or break your marriage.)ĭespite our issues, I always knew he was the one, and I was devastated. After 4 years of marriage we had a baby, which only exaggerated our differences. I knew he was the one.īut we were married to our jobs, and we grew apart and began to resent each other. We married 9 months into our relationship, recognizing we both brought issues into the marriage, but believing love would be enough. It took 10 years for him to notice me, but when he did, we both fell hard. I've loved my husband, Patrick, since I was 13 years old. (Here's why these 9 women say they'll never marry again.) I realized that the older you get, the more you understand the meaning of life, love, friendship, and unconditional love. It's a deep, complex dance of give and take, and friendship is more valuable in the relationship than gold. I don't believe anyone at 19 or 20 truly understands marriage, the commitment and the journey. Our 4-year-old grandson adores him, and he has rebuilt his relationship with the kids. I told him that our friendship was deep enough that if he promised to stay clean and strived to become the husband and father he should be, I would forgive him. I knew right then and there that I still loved him, despite not having seen him for 15 years, and even though he hadn't been in our kids' lives. One day, after my kids were grown, I ran into my first husband. We fought a lot, and he never seemed to warm to the idea of being a stepfather. We stayed together for 15 years, but they were unhappy ones. I'm pretty sure he knew that was why, too. I swiftly remarried, not because I found someone that I loved more than my first husband, but because I wanted to give my kids a sense of security. But unfortunately our respective troubles bled into our marriage, making it a very rocky one. I wanted out of my hometown in Missouri, so we quickly married and moved to California. He was my first boyfriend, and we bonded over our troubled upbringings-I had an abusive mom and a father who pretended not to notice, and he had an alcohol and drug addiction.
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